Do's and Don'ts

MISCELLANEOUS DO’S AND DON’T’S

DO:
1. Decide how much of the reunion you want structured
2. Have at least one teenage and one children’s activity each day
3. “Schedule” some free time
4. Pass around the responsibility for chairing the family reunion in a systematic way
5. Plan carefully for nonmember relatives
6. Anticipate any possible areas of contention (politics, the will, rest homes)
7. Anticipate safety hazards (cliff, pond, road)
8. Have a curfew and a plan for enforcing it (example: Tell the kids, "You can talk as late as you want, but you have to be in your sleeping bags at 12:00 midnight. If you don't comply, you will be sent to your parents’ cabin, tent, room, etc.)
9. Have technical support—lights, microphone, piano, etc. (many a child's cute song or hard-learned recitation has been ruined because the people in the back couldn't hear. I feel sound equipment should be rented--even at the sacrifice of something else if necessary, like having refreshments!)
10. Make a complete list of addresses, phone numbers; e-mail addresses to give out at the reunion or even better, sent out with the first or second mailing
11. Inform family members of the phone numbers where they can be reached AT the reunion ahead of time
12. Tell people what to bring—bedding, towels, swimming gear, etc.
13. Form a children’s play area—as nice as you can make it. It will “save” the moms (sand box, toys, swing, slide, tricycles, wagon, trampoline, balls, small wading pool, etc.)
14. Get any items needed from absentee families (photographs, letters, even have them make a tape) and then also send them anything you can from the reunion (photos, copies of anything given out, address list, T-shirts, etc.)
15. Make lots of assignments (promotes involvement--attitude of everyone helping)
16. Have a lost and found
17. Discuss the next reunion in a formal or informal meeting
18. Send thank-you notes by mail or email to the people who did assignments
19. Have nametags--families can make their own so you can learn who belongs where. Hanging around neck is good for kids and babies.



Don’t:

1. …expect teenagers to play immature games
2. leave little kids with teenagers to tend while the adults have an activity (except maybe ONE HOUR)--the adult retreat (chapter 9 of Your Family Reunion: Getting Together Your Get-together) is "made" for the things adults want to do
3. …let people watch TV or more than 1 video--what a waste of bonding time!
4. …take too many posed photos--it really taxes people for some reason and spoils spontaneity
5. …drag family history sessions (or any whole-group activity) on too long--again, one hour is about the maximum for a single group event
6. …get sunburned. Ouch!
7. …make it easy for families who know each other well to pair off to the exclusion of others
8. …embarrass or annoy people--for example asking an entire group a question like "how many have been on full time missions?"--you always end up embarrassing some one! Avoid embarrassing games--like marginal questions on the newlywed game, etc.
9. …have the people who travel long distances be in charge of the last meal
10. …make a big deal of one family not approving of or not wanting to participate in an activity (maybe they don't "do" that). Let it rest.
11. …foster exclusivity among kids--there may not be much you can do about it if some cousins just won't "hang out" with other cousins, but try not to let this happen.